Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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