who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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