apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
