my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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