the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
