How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Randomize
