Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
