He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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