So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
