He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I just had sex on a roof
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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