so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
We're too hungover to prance.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize