I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
