At least make sure they are 18
Why
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize