she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
