Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
