Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
