Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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