3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I woke up under a house in Key West
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
