i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
