he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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