I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize