that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
