I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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