??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
