she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
