Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
