We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
