Heybabeimwearingurpanties
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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