It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
