I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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