do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
