it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
