so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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