yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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