Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
