So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
