know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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