that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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