I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
