I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
