she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize