i think my mom watched the whole time
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
