If that was your dad, he is hot
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize