He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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