Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
