My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
