my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I cockslap morals
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
