and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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