Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Your cock deserves a montage
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
