That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
