Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
