Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
