I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
