Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
