we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
