haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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