Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
