Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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