Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
