quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
