Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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