with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
