I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
