summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i may or may not be watching the land before time
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize