It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize