Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
